Author Archive: Big El

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This Valentine’s Day, Some Zoos Are Letting You Name a Cockroach After Your Ex

This Valentine’s Day, Some Zoos Are Letting You Name a Cockroach After Your Ex

| January 30, 2019 | 0 Comments

If you’re going to be single this Valentine’s Day, instead of going out and trying to find someone new to date . . . why not sit at home getting some passive-aggressive, cathartic revenge against your ex? The Bronx Zoo in New York and a zoo in London called the Hemsley Conservation Center are both offering a Valentine’s Day […]

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A Man Admits He Dated a Cockroach . . . Then

A Man Admits He Dated a Cockroach . . . Then

| January 30, 2019 | 0 Comments

Hey ladies, this guy is now single. There’s a 25-year-old guy named Yuta Shinohara in Japan, and he’s been obsessed with bugs since he was a kid.  And apparently . . . it got so serious that he says he recently DATED a cockroach named Lisa. He says they were exclusive for a YEAR before […]

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Here’s Why You Don’t Do Drugs kids…..

Here’s Why You Don’t Do Drugs kids…..

| January 27, 2019 | 0 Comments

  Here’s why you don’t do drugs, kids. Especially not mind-bending drugs while you’re at SCHOOL . . . A 15-year-old kid near Cincinnati dropped ACID Wednesday morning, and started GROPING several female staff members at his school. First he grabbed his teacher’s boob, then ran out of the building. So a school cop brought […]

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Salvation Army Bell Ringer Got High on PCP

Salvation Army Bell Ringer Got High on PCP

| December 20, 2018 | 0 Comments

I guess it was only a matter of time before a Salvation Army bell ringer heard “no” one too many times . . . and snapped. There’s a 40-year-old guy named David Kelley in Germantown, Maryland.  And last week, he was working as a Salvation Army bell ringer, collecting donations outside Walmart.   Well . […]

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A Walmart Employee Quits by Ranting Over the Store’s Intercom System

A Walmart Employee Quits by Ranting Over the Store’s Intercom System

| December 12, 2018 | 0 Comments

If you’ve ever dreamed of quitting your job in a total BLAZE OF GLORY . . . but you’re too smart, responsible, and stable to do it . . . maybe you can live vicariously through this guy. A guy named Jackson Racicot quit his job at Walmart in Grande Prairie, Alberta, Canada last week […]

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A Guy Is Found Guilty of Rubbing His Coworker’s Sandwich on His Body While He Pleasured Himself

A Guy Is Found Guilty of Rubbing His Coworker’s Sandwich on His Body While He Pleasured Himself

| December 12, 2018 | 0 Comments

A guy in Pennsylvania was working at a department store a few years ago when he pleasured himself in the stock room . . . while he rubbed a coworker’s SANDWICH against his body. Then he put the sandwich back in the fridge. And he just got three to 12 months in prison for indecent […]

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The Cops Are Looking for a Guy Who Shoved a Footlong Into His…..

The Cops Are Looking for a Guy Who Shoved a Footlong Into His…..

| December 12, 2018 | 0 Comments

Oh man, if the cops are really looking for a guy with a footlong in his pants, then I’m definitely going to get dragged in for questioning. Heh. A guy went into a gas station in Lakeland, Florida a few weeks ago and grabbed a footlong sandwich off the shelf. Then . . . he […]

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Cheesecake Factory Gave Out Free Slices Yesterday . . . Which Led to Chaos and at Least One Arrest

Cheesecake Factory Gave Out Free Slices Yesterday . . . Which Led to Chaos and at Least One Arrest

| December 6, 2018 | 0 Comments

It’s amazing what people will do to save six bucks. Yesterday was the Cheesecake Factory’s 40th anniversary, so they gave away 40,000 free slices of cheesecake to celebrate. And the only way to get those slices was to order them on DoorDash. And it was a cool idea . . . in theory. What really […]

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A 300-Pound Woman Confesses to Murdering Her 120-Pound Boyfriend by…..

A 300-Pound Woman Confesses to Murdering Her 120-Pound Boyfriend by…..

| December 5, 2018 | 0 Comments

  Not to make light of the story we’ve got right here . . . but this….this is just….wow. There’s a 44-year-old woman named Windi Thomas in Erie, Pennsylvania.  And she just pleaded guilty to murdering her 44-year-old boyfriend Keeno Butler back in March. How’d she do it?  Windi checks in at over 300 POUNDS […]

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SHE IS BIG MAD!!!

SHE IS BIG MAD!!!

| December 4, 2018 | 0 Comments

  This doesn’t seem like an overreaction or anything. A woman went into a deli in Philadelphia a few weeks ago and said she wanted to buy beer . . . but she didn’t have any money.  And the owner said no, you can’t have free beer. Which apparently made her so angry that she […]

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